It’s a bit of a problem when you reallyreally want to make out with someone but you’re a bit of a recluse and have the self confidence of a satsuma among a bowl of oranges.
You’ve not ruined anyone’s housewarming if it’s not your marital home and never will be.
Being able to be shit at Gangnam Style without fear of judgement or retribution.
Being able to practice your Gangnam Style all day in your flat without fear of judgement or retribution.
We’ve all been stuck for things to say in the morning, but when the best you can do is “Your back smells nice” it’s probably best that your first conversation of the day is with the bus driver.
It’s often hard to tell if you’ve got the line right between actually romantic poetry and Coleridge.
Put it this way: you know you should stop when your only idea is to take them to Waterstones to look at pictures of stars.
“Yeah I’ve got a packet of microwavable popcorn in the cupboard, give us a sec.”
When you live with a former chorister, the sounds through the walls are bad enough without a significant other adding to the din.
Because spending an evening with 10CC, a cider, and a blog that will always care for you is so much better than writing stupid letters to Australians. At least with Men at Work on the playlist there’s no doubt about coming from a Land Down Under.
When the only reason you can think of to be in a relationship is the extra body warmth in your bed, you know it’s probably time to call it quits.